OVERCOME BAD HABITS AND OBSESSIVE/COMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS
I have created a series of free Practical Guides on:
How to Overcome Procrastination
How To Overcome Eating Disorders
How To Quit Smoking Without Suffering
How to Overcome Depression
More Practical Guides are on the way soon!
You may download them from our website at: www.danielpetra.com
A FEW BASIC SECRETS
One of the basic secrets of self-transformation is that, before we can change a self-defeating behavior, we need to learn to minimize its gravity, intensity and frequency. I call this, the process of Minimizing The Damage (MTD). In my experience, trying to proceed too quickly and trying to find shortcuts, usually only ends up being a huge waste of time and energy. We usually have to “bottom out” before we start to make any consistent progress.
We also need to reduce the pressure on ourselves. We need to have more pleasure and more fun. It is easier to make progress if we allow ourselves to make a game out of what we do.
If we want to be truly happy, we need to learn to be satisfied with everything we do.
We also need to learn to criticize ourselves less and empower ourselves more.
Another secret of behavior modification is that: “frequency is more effective than quantity.”
Missing Links, Chapter 1
Rather than criticize myself, I have learned to make a contract with myself in which I agree to congratulate myself even for the teeniest improvement … no matter how small. The process of contracting is an essential one. It requires that we become aware of our tendencies and of the patterns in which we are involved. It is also essential that we learn to start to forgive ourselves. As I found out, forgiving ourselves isn’t easy. In our very competitive and perfectionistic societies, we are far more used to criticize ourselves and others, than to forgive.
Missing Links, Chapter 3, page 44
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